Celebrity News:

Jonah Goldberg Needs to Watch More Porn
Not having watched the Paris Hilton sex tape might boost Jonah Goldberg's standing among conservatives, but it doesn't help his credibility as a cultural commentator.

Bemoaning the prevalence of "celebrity trash" in the media ecosystem, Goldberg relates that Pamela Anderson "has gotten hitched to Rick Salomon, whose greatest accomplishment was surreptitiously videotaping himself having relations with Paris Hilton."

Jonah, pal, how to break this to you gently? I'm afraid Paris knew she was being taped. In fact, you might even say -- cover your ears, impressionable children! -- she got off on it. If you don't believe me, just trying entering "Paris Hilton sex tape" into Google. It should be easy to find. That is, if your mom will deactivate the parental controls on your computer.